Brides (and Grooms) to Be

I’m privileged to share with you the major points of my pre-marital coaching approach.

First, my philosophy of marriage

I summarize my marriage philosophy as a covenant relationship whereby God intends a life-long commitment of one man and one woman in mutual submission to the Lord and each other in the Lord.

In a God-inspired and God-enabled marriage, each partner accepts responsibility to serve the other person and to seek God’s best for his/her mate. This God-inspired, God-enabled covenant relationship defines the selfless love marriage– the most satisfying marriage, characterized by divine purpose, enduring love, and lasting happiness.

Second, the couple and I cover the following areas in marriage preparation for that covenant:

• The spiritual purpose of marriage. I assume in all preparation that the marriage relationship is foundationally spiritual, as opposed to emotional. Consequently, the spiritual health of each partner is considered essential to the success of the marital relationship and all preparation for marriage. We will consider several passages but will primarily focus on Ephesians 5:21-33.
• PREPARE, an inventory, done online that helps couples understand their relational strengths and growing edges. PREPARE has been used with millions of couples over the past 35 years and represents the best pre-marital inventory on the market. The creator of PREPARE has refined the inventory so that it has become 85% accurate in predicting divorce! Of course, any couple willing to put in the work can improve a relationship. That’s why pre-marital coaching proves to be a good investment. Studies demonstrate that a couple who does pre-marital counseling/coaching is 30% less likely to divorce. (The inventory costs $35.00/couple, paid online to LifeInnovations, Inc. after you receive the login code.)
• Personality Inventory— an abbreviated personality inventory also done online, derived from the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. Each partner identifies his/her personality from the 16 basic personality types identified by Isabel Briggs Myers. I will then lead the couple to look at how their personalities blend. We will consider the implications of the blend in some of the significant realities of married life, particularly in communication and conflict resolution. Most couples who have been through my pre-marital or marital coaching rank this as the most helpful exercise.
• Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman, a Christian counselor and ordained pastor, produced a book (Five Love Languages). Chapman describes the five basic ways of giving and receiving love. Both partners identify their primary and secondary love languages and discuss with Bill how to love each other based on those discoveries. This exercise provides immediately applicable. The lessons learned from the Five Love Languages last a lifetime and guarantee that passion never leaves the relationship!
• Building Your Financial House, if desired, I will share the information I learned while serving in the financial services industry and as a life insurance agent. I do not offer investment advice, but I offer a basic framework for a couple to begin setting their financial house in order. This session is optional, based on the couple’s desires.
• The Wedding Ceremony. If asked to conduct the ceremony, I will provide materials for the couple to “cut and paste” a wedding ceremony that suits their taste and guide them to construct a ceremony befitting the purpose of marriage. (Officiating the ceremony is not included in the Coaching package.)

A couple’s diligent and faithful work during the several-week preparatory process and afterward will help to equip them for a successful, selfless marriage. The couple may expect to spend between seven and nine hours in coaching and about 3 hours of fun and meaningful homework in preparation for our meetings.

My books- to help couples realize covenant marriage.