TUESDAY TIP: THE “CAPILLARIES” OF A MARRIAGE
The couple before me hit a communication sore spot. She teared up as the conversation turned toward his availability. A thriving business saps him of energy so that he has less to offer at day’s end.
She tries to give him space to decompress. She doesn’t call during the day as often as she’d like. Then, each morning, he rises and leaves earlier than she.
After recounting these points, she said something like, “I just wonder when my time is?” The tears spilled over.
He couldn’t hear the invitation in that emotional question. So instead, he responded with an explanation of how much time they spent together.
He missed her “bid.” What is a “bid”? It’s any effort to turn toward one’s mate. The bid may seem inconsequential:
HER: Look at this beautiful horse I just found!
HE: (Pausing the TV program and looking) Wow, that’s an extraordinary beast? What breed is it?
In fact, most bids amount to micro-connections that bind a relationship. Bids are like capillaries in the human body. The arteries, veins, and capillaries would stretch about 60,000 miles! The capillaries make up about 80% of that length!!
Most bids amount to tiny capillaries, but the more present in a marriage, the healthier.
Sometimes, the bid is much larger, like the wife’s tearful request for more quality time.
TIP: Never underestimate the power of the smallest bid from your partner. The better you turn toward your beloved’s small bids, the better you will be at catching the big ones!